The ego is the mind’s identity of our construction, a fake identity. We are quite just the mind. If we take all the beliefs of what we are – beliefs about our personality, talents, and skills – we have the structure of our ego. These talents, abilities, and aspects of our personality are going to be attributes of our skills, but the mental construct of our “self” is artificial.
And while this description might make the ego appear to be a static thing, it is not. Rather, it’s a lively and dynamic part of our personalities, playing an immense role in creating emotional drama in our lives.
When we have thoughts about our self that we accept as true with we construct a self-image. The sorts of thoughts that contribute to the ego structure are:
“I’m not good at math.”
“I am smart.”
“My freckles make me ugly.”
“Nobody likes me.”
“I am better than you.”
“That was stupid of me.”
The ego hides behind the “I” and “me” in those declarative thoughts and statements about our identity.
When we have such thoughts and accept as true with even the slightest conviction that these ideas define us, then we are building, or reinforcing, an ego. We first have these thoughts once we are kids, perhaps once we were teased on the playground, or when reprimanded or praised by an educator or parent. altogether cultures, developing a self-image may be a normal a part of socialization. Problems arise, however, when that self-image is negative, inaccurate, or maybe overly positive. Considering that we develop our concept of “self” as children, it’s inevitable that our self-image doesn’t map to reality as adults.
The Ego Unmasked:
Why is that the ego so hard to elucidate or describe? The ego is difficult to define because the ego isn’t one specific thing. it’s actually made from many various beliefs that an individual acquires over their life. Those beliefs are often diverse and even contradictory. To further complicate it, each person’s ego is different. If someone were to obviously identify and describe all the parts of their ego and what it drives them to try to to , you would possibly not get an honest description of what yours seemed like . The challenge of becoming conscious of what your personal ego seems like becomes harder because our culture doesn’t reward us for guiding our attention inward and noticing such things.
How to Spot the Ego:
The ego is difficult to ascertain , because it hides behind opinions that appear true – our attachment to descriptions of our identity – and since we haven’t practiced looking. you’ll get a glimpse by noticing certain thoughts, almost like those listed above. the better thanks to spot the ego is by the trail of emotional reactions it leaves behind: Anger at a beloved , a requirement to be right, a sense of insecurity in certain situations, feelings of jealousy that are unexplained, the necessity to impress someone, and so on. These emotions are often attributed to the false beliefs that comprise the ego. within the beginning it’s easier to ascertain the symptoms of resulting emotions and drama, instead of the ego that caused it.
One of the foremost deceptive aspects of the ego is that it generates powerful emotional reactions, then blames us for a way it made us feel. The anger we react with comes from ego based beliefs of being right and “knowing better’ than somebody else . Perhaps there’s also a victim interpretation of betrayal or injustice underneath. After we overreact with anger we’d feel badly for what we expressed. The ego shifts to a “righteous self” that “knows better” and berates us for overreacting with anger. At an equivalent time, it assumes the identity of being the “stupid idiot” that didn’t know any better and takes the blame for overreacting. of these attitudes, thoughts, and beliefs happen within the mind, and albeit they’re completely different, we assume all of them come from us. If they really were expressions coming from our genuine self, they wouldn’t contradict, and that we would be ready to stop them.
To the unaware person, it’s difficult to discern the difference between what’s ego and what’s really them. they’re left to wonder, “What came to visit me that I reacted that way?” Even their post-emotional analysis lacks the consideration to ascertain the various parts of their belief system at work as breakaway themselves. As a result, everything they express is blamed on “themselves” by one among the condemning voices in their head. In effect, the ego hijacks the analysis and turns it into a self-criticism/blame process. When the ego controls the self-reflection process you’ve got no chance of seeing the basis explanation for your emotional dramas because the ego reaffirms itself and hides within the self-criticism.
Is the ego arrogant or insecure?
“Having an ego” is typically related to arrogance and may be a term wont to describe someone who thinks they’re better than others. Yet this is often just one a part of the ego. In fact, it’s possible to possess some positive self-esteem and a few negative self-esteem – we are conscious of these different beliefs at different times. The negative beliefs about our self-structure our negative self-esteem, while our positive thoughts comprise our positive self-esteem. Together, the negative and positive esteem forms our ego.
Quite often, these two aspects of our personality are nearly equal in magnitude and offset one another emotionally. an individual who is extremely hard on themselves with their inner critic may have feelings of worthlessness. this is often a painful emotion to measure with, and so as to mask the pain, they could cover it up with bravado, projecting a picture of security and confidence, all the while battling feelings of insecurity, worthlessness and inadequacy.
Arrogance is markedly different from the arrogance that doesn’t come from ego. an individual is often completely confident in their ability, skill, or self-acceptance, without letting it “go to their head” and impacting their interactions with others. And while humility may often be mistaken for shyness and insecurity, an individual of true humility is fully present and asleep with themselves and their surroundings. Confidence without arrogance, humility without insecurity, these are manners of personality that are without the self-image dynamics of the ego.
Letting Go of the Ego
Because the ego has multiple aspects, it’s not practical or effective to dissolve all of it directly, neither is it likely that you simply could do so. very similar to a tree or large bush that’s overgrown within the yard, you don’t just lift it out and throw it away – you narrow off manageable pieces instead. an equivalent approach is effective with letting go of the false beliefs that structure the ego. you start by detaching from individual thoughts that reinforce the ego, then abandoning of beliefs, separating yourself from the false identity of your ego.
We have spent years building our ego self-images, living inside them, and reinforcing them. Extracting our genuine self out of this matrix of false beliefs will take quite a couple of days. Yes, it’ll take a while… so what. It also took a short time to find out to read, do the math, walk, and develop proficiency at any valuable skill. Things worth doing take time and practice.